October 29. Day 302. It's the little things

Twenty years is a long time and as they say with good behaviour you'd spend less time in prison on a life sentence for murdering someone. Twenty years ago today Charles and I married. It bucketed down rain, the first rain we'd had in months. I've heard it said that rain on your wedding day is lucky. I think that's a crap saying invented to improve the mood of people whose dream of glorious outdoor wedding photos - or worse an outdoor wedding - has just been washed away in a torrential downpour. Still, it obviously worked for us. So as well as celebrating, I think a milestone such as this is worth reflecting on and as seems to be the thing on such occasions sharing the secrets.The baby moorhen at South Bank is today's model, reflecting my thoughts ...
So for what it's worth let me tell you that the standard wedding vows are way off the mark. That richer/poorer, sickness/health thing? Garbage. Those things you can't control and in my experience while stressful, people tend to pull together at times of external threat. No, the vows should include mention of kitchens, bathrooms and bedrooms. How someone eats, the stacking of the dishwasher, socks and jocks on the floor, drawers left open, the lid off the toothpaste, failure to hang up wet towels, and various personal habits - these little things, annoying little traits are what is likely to throw you over the edge. They drive you mad because two people no matter how compatible will have their differences. The trick is to fight to change the things that really, really matter to you and accept the rest. And in my case learn never, ever to ask for directions when driving. Of course, you don't divorce someone for being singularly crap and way too late at giving driving directions. Divorce no. Kill, possibly but that really will get you a life sentence.