February 23. Day 54. Apples to apples

Yada, Yada, Yada

Demi Lardner

Luke Heggie

I never knew how much passion people had for apples. To me, it's largely a question of red or green. The red ones I eat. The green ones are for cooking. How wrong am I. It started this week, when my son refused an apple I had in my bag because it was a Royal Gala. He was hungry but not hungry enough to bite into anything else but a Pink Lady. This is weird for a person who for years would only eat green apples because Snow White had taught him the red ones were poisonous. The next day in a consultation with a student about something completely different, she volunteered that she would only eat Pink Lady Apples. None of this Royal Gala nonsense. Either this is a "thing" or I just happen to attract Pink Lady tragics. I decided some peer reviewed quality research was needed. I took to social media instead. The outpouring of love for the the Pink Lady was instantaneous and overwhelming. Okay, let's take this hypothesis to a wider audience. Today I was fortunate enough to be invited to a media preview ahead of tonight's opening gala of the Brisbane International Comedy festival. We were given one-on-ones with three performers -Luke Heggie,  Demi Lardner and Yada, Yada, Yada (AKA Lauren Edwards and Jude Perl). Five minutes with each. That's not long enough to delve deep into their psycho and runs the risk of asking the same stock questions and getting the same stock answers. So let's go all random. The same five questions for each, not at all related to their performances - at least as a starting point.
Our questions were.
1. If you could ask five people living or dead to a dinner party, would Barnaby Joyce be one of them?
2. A quick game of F**k, Marry, Kill with the choices being Donald Trump, Harvey Weinstein and Karl Stefanovic
3. Which reality TV show would you be forced off first: "I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here", My Kitchen Rules or Married at First Sight?
4. Could you please settle an argument we are having? Which is the superior apple: Pink Lady
or Royal Gala?
5. What would you tell you 10-year-old self?
The Pink Lady was three from three. Not one person gave a moment's hesitation. They didn't even seem to think it was a randomly stupid question.
Our Brisbane Comedy Festival podcast is available for your listening pleasure here.